For the love of God, somebody stop this!

People drinking wine is good. It's good for them and it's good for me. And with the constant proliferation of wineries around the world, it is understandable that others might want to get in on the game. In true American fashion, these folks are following suit.

"South Florida is only a zoning approval away from its first commercial winery."

I understand that with 25 hurricanes in the last 3 months, some folks in the Sunshine state might be shaken up, mentally. On the other hand, some may have lost their minds all together. My money is on the latter.

"Federal and state permits came easily, but the county has no zoning district that allows winemaking, so Schnebly approached Miami-Dade Commissioner Dennis Moss. Moss, already impressed by the tourism possibilities of wineries after a visit to Napa and Sonoma, is seeking approval of the county's environment and government operations committee Tuesday and the County Commission Oct. 19."

''Wineries in the Redland; I see real potential,'' Moss says."

Further proof that all people in public office are insane. And what 'potential' does he see? Clos du South Beach Sauvignon Blanc or Château Epcot 'Cuvée du Monde'? I doubt it. Potential dollar signs for Dade County is more like it and I can see the county commission meeting now: 'We need to do this, for the children.'

"Winemaking has never been a major part of Florida agriculture."

This guy's a genius. Somebody get the Pulitzer on the horn. And a major part? According to www.florida-agriculture.com, the are 13 'Certified Florida Farm Wineries and Vineyards' and another 4 listed as 'Other Florida Wineries and Vineyards'. I'm not sure what they're doing wrong not to qualify as 'certified'. And I find hard to believe that even collectively, they represent something that could be considered a 'minor' part of the state's economy. Unless of course, anything that isn't 'major' is 'minor'.

But what about the 'wines'?

"Tropical fruits are less sweet than grapes, so Knapp has to add cane sugar; they have less acid, so he has to add tartaric crystals to give the wines that pleasing crispness. And putting mangoes through a German bladder press meant for grapes creates something more like baby food than mango juice, necessitating some muscular filtering."

This is exactly why this should be stopped. I used to try drinking coffee. About 20 seconds after ordering the last cup I had, I came to the conclusion that it is too bitter for me. But if I added about 5 lbs. of sugar and a half gallon of milk, it began to approach something that I could drink. Of course, at this point it really isn't coffee anymore, so why bother?

"Schnebly is negotiating to sell his fruit wines to supermarkets (at $10 to $17 a bottle retail)."

Maybe he should talk to the folks at Mondavi. I think he's shooting abit high.

But remember the children?

"Meanwhile, he's planning a tropical fruit theme park at his 24,000-square-foot packing plant and adding a 3,000-square-foot, Key West-style retail shop there next year to sell fruit, juice, wine, jelly, jam, fruit-flavored tea and other items."

I can't resist. There will be the 'Lychee Limbo', 'Guava Gondola', 'Mango Mixer' and the flagship roller coaster, the 'Fruit Loop'. This place needs another theme park like a hole in the head.

God help the folks of Florida