How do I get this job?

It's official, wine is better than anything. Here's the entire article:

"Dutch scientists have confirmed that red wine is healthier than an alcopop. A binge drinking experiment showed those who hit the bottle might do better to choose Cotes du Rhone over cocktails.

Twenty healthy volunteers drank six glasses of red wine or six glasses of Bacardi Breezer in three hours. Blood samples were taken after 90 minutes and at the end. Researchers measured what happened to the blood platelets involved in clotting.

Unlike cocktail drinkers, red wine drinkers showed no sign of platelet aggregation.

Dylan de Lange, of the University Medical Centre in Utrecht, reports in Alcoholism: Clinical and Experimental Research today that modest drinking - particularly of red wine - may actually be beneficial to cardiovascular diseases."

What's the lesson?

1. Don't drink anything called alcopop.
2. Don't drink anything made by Bacardi.
3. It's aces to run around with scissors and a glass of red wine.

As if I needed another reason to crack a bottle.