I've gotta watch what I say...

At the risk of sounding paranoid, maybe I'm getting through to more people than I previously thought.

Canandaigua Wine Launches Monkey Bay

First off, the first person who can properly pronounce the name of this company gets a free bottle of this crap. As difficult as French can be at times, it doesn't hold a candle to Canandaigua. Second, regular readers of this thing blog will know that I often refer to the 'monkeys' and am constantly challenged/frustrated by their resistance to the 'unknown'. Apparently, Cananda-blah-blah has decided to embrace the monkey rather than teach it.

Named for a small bay within the Marlborough coast's famed Cloudy Bay, Monkey Bay offers consumers a delicious, affordable sauvignon blanc from New Zealand's premier appellation.

As most winos know, somebody beat them to the punch on 'Cloudy Bay', so what's an uber-corporation to do? Make some shit up, and quick...

And the name? In the late 19th century, an Englishman visiting New Zealand reported seeing a monkey cavorting near a small bay on the Marlborough coast. Locals were skeptical because monkeys were not indigenous to New Zealand. The Brit, however, was adamant, so theories arose about the simian sighting. Could the little imp have escaped from an American whaler docked in Marlborough after stops in Africa and Indonesia? Or did the near-sighted Englishman simply mistake the native kiwi bird for a chimp? Whatever the truth, the Monkey Bay name now lends itself to a classic Marlborough sauvignon blanc."

My version of the story goes like this: The Brit was loaded on gin. The end.

So we've got the fruit, we've got the 'story', how do we sell it?

"Monkey Bay's whimsical label -- designed by Harkness Walker Design, creator of Australia's Yellow Tail label -- features a leaping, bright green monkey sure to attract the attention of super-premium wine shoppers. The vibrant monkey icon -- at once charming and slightly impish -- resonated strongly with consumers in national focus groups."

One by one, here goes. Kudos to Cananda-whatever for hiring the geniuses that slapped a couple of brackets and a kangaroo on a bottle and turned it into gold. If it's good enough for the Aussies, it's good enough for us.
Second, could someone give me a ruling on the word 'premium' as it pertains to the wine world. A 'google' for the literal definition yielded this: 'having or reflecting superior quality or value'. Really? Then what would 'super-premium' mean?
And finally, I appreciate the heads-up on the fact that the label 'resonated strongly with consumers in national focus groups.' Would this be the same focus group that gave the green light to the K-car,Zima, and McDonald's serving fajitas?

I am sure there are myriad people to whom this sounds like a 'great' wine. I, for one will keep fighting the good fight and try to keep the 'monkeys' at 'bay'.

(Sorry for the pun, my patience is wearing out.)