Small time politics

Most people harbor somewhat romantic notions when the thought of a winery comes to mind. Apparently, for the folks of Hume, Virginia (you know the one), not so much:

Staunch opposition delays winery's plans

My abhorrance of politicians ranks just below that which I hold for lawyers (at least most of them). Here, we get a little of both:

"Board members now have until Feb. 3 to decide whether William and John McIntire will be allowed to hold "up to 15 events during a calendar year, with a maximum attendance of less than 150 people per event" at their 26-acre Stillhouse Vineyards, according to zoning department records."

This is what happens when you let lawyers start writing things. More often than not, the stuff reads like double speak (i.e. 'maximum attendance of less than..) What's so hard with saying 'These yahoos can get down once a month with 150 people tops'? Straight to the point, everybody understands, and you don't have to pay some lawyer $500/hour to act as interpreter.

Potential 'genius' nominee:

"It seems to me having 150-plus person parties and having outdoor music is not an integral part of making wine," Brenda Moorman said. "The core issue is if the applicant is trying to establish an entertainment business."

This lady ought to thank her ancestors for their spelling abilities because she's one 'm' away from taking the prize. Ms. Moorman, you are correct in deducing that having parties and music aren't integral to making wine. You are also an idiot. I understand the apprehension you and you're neighbors feel and if Stillhouse Vineyards was trying to convert Hume into Orlando, you would be totally justified. I'll let you in on a little secret. One thing (of many) that is integral to a running a winery is actually selling the wine! Another secret is that while some very good wines are being made in your fine state, Virginia is not exactly the 'must-see' place for your average wine consumer. I trust that armed with these two bits of information, you can begin to understand why Stillhouse might want to do a little entertaining.

"Unwanted disturbances do have health effects," Lila Layton said. "People can get pretty upset ... and animals do not like disturbance. Horses will flee and dogs will get upset."

Not sure what to do about the people. The horses...well isn't that what horses do, run? Maybe Virginia has herds of wild horses that I have never heard about but don't the folks that own horses also own fences? And the dogs...well, I reckon outlawing sirens on emergency vehicles will be on the docket soon.