Genius Of The Week Nominee

In what very well may be a first, it appears that we have a duo putting their collective efforts towards winning the coveted GoTW award. I have said before that one must be insane (or at least heading that way) to run for public office. Need proof?

House says 'No' to alcohol tax; Senate considers it

I thought that I had seen the end of this but apparently not. Even in the Great(?) State of Tejas, these monkeys are steadfast at work trying to screw up the very thing that probably got them elected in the first place. I know it might be a bit of a stretch but I am assuming that the majority of their constituency were drunk by the time they got to the polls. I'm open to other explanations.

Enter contestant #1. From the article:

We are taxing bottled water. We are taxing snacks, including soft drinks. I don't really have a problem with that, except we leave out one import thing out which is beer, wine and ale," Howard said.

Actually Mr. Howard, there are a couple of mistakes in your statement. First off, too many uses of the word 'out'. Second, '..beer, wine, and ale' amounts to three things not one. Unless you want to get technical about it. In that case, ale would fall under the overall category of beer.

And now for the dude batting clean-up:

"While the Joe Sixpack we hear about would not care about paying another 2 cents, youth who do not have the expendable income that adults have, it can make a difference." Steve Ross, Communications Director for Texans Standing Tall, said."

This is brilliant! I don't live in Texas, but my brother does. If I did, I'd be looking for a way out. To read his words it is painfully obvious that 'Joe Sixpack' is most definitely some dude Mr. Ross has only 'heard' about. If his holiness would take about a minute of his precious time to go find this elusive beast, he would realize pretty damn quick that Señor Joe most definitely cares about his two cents. And seriously, do you think another 12 cents for a sixer of PBR is going to break Johnny Quarterback's allowance? In all seriousness, HELL NO!

And what would Mr. Ross spend this windfall of cash on?:

"The organization Texans Standing Tall wants to double the alcohol excise tax to help pay for the ills of alcohol abuse and to lower underage drinking."

I can't get enough of this kind of vague babble. Just how would two cents per can pay for the 'ills' of alcohol abuse? I don't mean to imply that it does not exist, clearly it does. But seriously, two cents? And as far as the underage drinking is concerned, give me a break.

Taking a look at T.S.T.'s website it become very clear, very quickly what they are all about:

House leaders swept up all the loose change they could from taxing sundries to pay for a proposed tax swap this week, with one glaring
exception: booze.

A word to the wise...Whenever you read the word 'booze' in any article written since 1933, immediately read 'pro-prohibtion'. There simply is no other purpose for the use of the word other than to imply that those who imbide are walking hand in hand with the Devil.

A few other gems from their website:

"This April, the National Collegiate Athletic Association (NCAA) Division I Board of Directors will reconsider its alcohol policies. That review presents a tremendous opportunity to accomplish one of the
Campaign for Alcohol-Free Sports TV'smajor goals: to end beer ads
during college sports."

If it weren't for beer, most college sports would be half empty.

Our office has received complaints about the BRATZ doll Limo toy that includes little bottles and glasses. Even a six year old made the immediate connection saying, "Look, Mommy, the BRATZ drink alcohol."

Complaints to MGA Entertainment (makers of the BRATZ toy) resulted in the following justification: "Any bottles are generally labeled as water or sparkling cider in the instruction manual."

However, six year olds cannot read "sparkling cider" and kids will be playing with the objects, not reading the instruction manual.

For those of you unaware who the 'BRATZ' are, you can check them out here. I apologize in advance for the uber-obnoxious sountrack. If you as a parent are actually buying this kind of crap for your child, you have far greater things to worry about than your wee one connecting the dots about a doll drinking.

"HB 38 – Alcohol Amount in Individual Drinks

Relating to the amount of alcohol that may be served in a drink by the holder of an alcoholic beverage permit or license. HB 38 stipulates that an alcoholic beverage for on-premise consumption may not contain more than one-half ounce of absolute alcohol or the equivalent. A violation of this bill would be a Class A misdemeanor."

One-half ounce? I suppose short drinks coupled with higher taxes equals more cash for TST.

I could go on...

The fine folks of Texas, consider yourself warned.