Ridiculous Analogies and The People Who Use Them

It should probably come as no surprise that I have precious little patience for this.

Building the Essential Wine Wardrobe: Author Hosts Fashion Show to Teach Wine Fundamentals at Taste Washington

In a nutshell, Leslie Sbrocco is making the rounds on the wine circuit giving 'educational' speeches on the finer aspects of wine. Sounds great, right? Except the vehicle by which she conveys the differences bewtween various grapes is the woman's wardrobe.

" Sbrocco will draw fashion comparisons with wine while educating the audience. For example, Cabernet Sauvignon is the author's "classic suit wine" because it is structured and timeless.

"The fragrant, fruity character of a Riesling is comparable to the refreshing feeling of slipping into a springtime dress, while cashmere is a perfect descriptor for Washington Merlot, which is smooth and sensuous," adds Sbrocco."

I reckon the analogy for Cab is more or less on point, although I would disagree with the timeless bit and sometimes the structure leaves a bit to be desired. The Riesling analogy would be great if I knew what 'slipping into a springtime dress' was all about. And I would be curious to know which of the Washington Merlots she has been drinking. The ones that I have are more akin to a brillo pad than a cashmere sweater. I don't mean that in a negative way, it's just that the Merlots from Washington State are generally more tannic and structured than the Cabs that come from there.

I know... What difference does it make how someone comes into wine, just so long as they do? Well, here's the problem. And it's the same thing for the school of thought that uses all the pop culture references (i.e. 'This wine tastes like J.Lo's leather pants' or some other silly shit).

What article of clothing would one use to describe the wines of Condrieu or Pic St. Loup?

And that doesn't even approach the fact that most people have the attention span of a gnat. What happens when said article of clothing goes out of style? Does that mean the wine no longer matters?

As much as I wold like to think not, I fear it most definitely would mean just that. Need proof? Pick up anypaper from the last 4 months and you read about how Merlot is 'so yesterday' and anybody who's anybody is drinking Pinot Noir.