The High Priestess of Genius-ness

I seriously wonder if there is a preson alive that can top this woman. Of all the idiotic things that I have read, this one takes the cake. From the title, I have to wonder if she actually wrote this herself. My instincts (or the first two words in the title) tell me that she didn't, some monkey did. But considering that she did deliver these words to a crowd of fellow monkeys is simply amazing.

Prepared Remarks
for
Juanita D. Duggan
President and CEO, WSWA
2005 WSWA Annual Convention and Exposition
April 11, 2005
Orlando

To read this address, one has to wonder if she is a Southern Preacher during her off-time. It reads with all the fire and brimstone that certain evangelists employed in times gone by. I highly recommend reading the entire thing, although I don't blame you if you can't get through it. Some of the gems:

"As an industry, we have always understood our moral obligation to ensure that this sort of thing does not happen - that we know who is selling what to whom, in what quantity, and that alcohol is not put into the hands of people who are not supposed to drink. It's the right thing to do."

Well, she wastes no time whatsoever wheeling out the 'high horse', does she? I can't get enough of the whole 'moral obligation' bit. Just one question about that Ms. Duggan: Just exactly how do the Jager girls fit in with that M.O.?

"Consider the recent presidential election that turned on the question of values and morality. Voters made it very clear they want to be able to protect their families from some elements of American culture. Just as they always have, they once again validated the rationale for controlling alcohol."

Yet another classic move that gets me all giddy inside, regardless of how many times I see it done. The timeless 'Bring up something that has nothing to do with you and then twist it to your advantage'. Put aside your personal politics for about a minute and think about this. The past election was a choice between a clown and a monkey. Regardless of the outcome, it's going to be peanuts for everyone. The only question is what kind: The creepy orange ones that are sold at gas stations or the ones covered in poo and flung at you by some angry lemurr. I'm sorry Ms. Duggan, but the 2004 election had nothing to do with you or your industry. I know you wish it did, but it didn't.

"And that's precisely why we need to preserve it. It's not sales or margins that are at stake. It's our moral credibility. Divorcing ourselves from the moral center is a recipe for disaster."

Really? You're not concerned about sales or margins in the slightest. She stops just short of the golden rule: 'We do it for the children'.

This is the header from their website:


Thank God we got that settled. I always thought it was Mr. Jack Daniels and Mr. Basil Hayden along Samuel Smith and John Courage that were bringing those good times.

I stand corrected. Thank You WSWA