The Marginalization Will Be Televised!!!

As well as written about in every possible medium. I hope that it comes as no surprise whatsoever that I have absolutely no patience for this kind of crap:

Here in spirit(s): Elvis-inspired wines making a splash

Let me start by saying that I take serious exception to the notion that 'E' himself had anything to do with 'inspiring' these wines. His mug on the front label of millions of bottles of crap? That's money in the bank. And as we know, money inspires all sorts of things.

"We launched Graceland Cellars as a tribute to the King of Rock 'n' Roll," said Scott Cahill, president of Graceland Cellars' parent, Signature wines. The winery is in Hayward, Calif., a northern coastal area. "But while the soul of our company is in Memphis, our products are firmly planted in innovative California winemaking."

A tribute? And what's this bit about your 'soul' being in Memphis? From looking at the Signature Wines website, it appears that the whole M.O. of Signature is to make whatever someone else wants. Soul, huh?

"Getting Elvis Presley Enterprises to allow them to use the trademark took time and assurance of a quality product, he said. "We couldn't ask for a better partner than Elvis Presley Enterprises. People feel a real connection to Elvis and that opens the doors to our wines. The quality in the bottle is what brings them back."

I know this might be like splitting hairs but honestly, even if you wanted to, could you have asked for a better partner. I mean, there is only one Elvis Presley Enterprises, right? And as far as that quality thing goes, I suppose this only goes to show that 50,000,000 Elvis fans can indeed, be wrong.

" Blue Suede Chardonnay, Jailhouse Red Merlot, and The King Cabernet Sauvignon will have a suggested retail price of $12 a bottle."

These names are great. If they were truly inspired by The King himself, they would be carrying names like 'Codeine Cabernet', 'Methaqualone Merlot', and 'B-Loaded Chardonnay'.

For the record, Elvis' recording of 'Blue Moon ' is seriously one of the finest songs ever recorded. With that said, Junior Parker smokes the Pelvis when it comes to the song 'Mystery Train'.