There's gold in that thar hill!!

Or at least that's what a certain couple of folks think. Enter "semiconductor pioneer T.J. Rodgers and his longtime domestic partner Valeta Massey". These two are at the center of what looks to be a decent shit-storm in the town of La Honda. Their story is a timeless classic. Boy meets girl. Couple makes a load of cash and has to start spending it on something. The wine bug bites and ultimately they make the decision to get back to their (non-existent) wine-making roots. To quote Nathan Arizona, "Oh stop, I'm gonna bust out cryin'.

The SF Chronicle has a pretty good article on the matter here and I think the opening paragraph sums it up:

"A Silicon Valley millionaire couple's audacious plans to grow "the best Pinot Noir grapes in the world" on steep slopes in the Santa Cruz Mountains has set off a water war in the woodsy hamlet of La Honda."

Everyone has to have aspirations but this is getting a little carried away. Plus, as you get into the article, it seems that growing 'the best' is not really the mission, rather they will produce (read manufacture) the best, regardless.

I know, people are already getting giddy as schoolgirls just thinking about it. Before you sign away your first born for a spot on the mailing list, read on. The name of this joint is 'Clos de La Tech'. I just love the nod to their collective computer past but I fear something a little more sinister is at work.

You see, peoples' attention spans are awfully short these days and it is simply a matter of time before the 'Clos de' part is going to go the way of all flesh, leaving the moniker 'La Tech'. In an of itself, this is not all that bad, except when you think the place that does produce some of the finest Pinot Noir grapes in the world, the famed vineyard 'La Tâche' in Burgundy. Less you think I'm crazy, mark my words. Some moron will end up buying this thinking he got one hell of a deal.

Back to the 'grape-growing':

"The rows are tightly spaced and the vines are scrawny, with the aim of forcing small amounts of complexly flavored grapes from each small plant. Dense plantings of 1,500 or 2,000 vines per acre are standard, but Clos de la Tech has about 4,000 vines per acre.

With extreme slopes and rows too narrow for conventional farm equipment, a specially designed tractor that straddles the vines is lowered by cable from a trailer and controlled by a rider with a joystick. Tiny weather stations whir above the vines, monitoring conditions in individual planting blocks. The need for water is determined by measuring the water pressure within the plants.

Detailed records are kept on the health and fruit quality of the vines, whose parentage varies although all are Pinot Noir. Unsuccessful vines are to be chopped back and re-grafted, Massey said; the intention is to fit particular vines to the specific plot of soil they are best suited for."

Sounds like Darwin meets Cy-borg. At the risk of sounding like a luddite, all of this does take a bit of the romance out of the equation. And I'm a curious about the planting arrangement. According to the article and the pictures in it, the vines are running down the slope rather than side to side as is common practice in Germany and Alsace where growing on very steep slopes is common place. I would think there is a reason for this, and not just to ease the job of the harvesters. Isn't the point of 'terracing' to assist in the prevention of erosion and potential land slide? Maybe it's worth a phone call.

And then you have the folks of La Honda, who live at the base of this hill. It sounds like they have a pretty good argument going aginst this thing. 'La Tech' has admitted they are not going to farm organic and with recent weather patterns in California, I don't think it's all that unreasonable to fear the worst, a la Los Angeles this past February.

My uncle used to tell me and I remember it to this day:

"There are two things you need to know about plumbing. Payday's on Tuesday and shit rolls downhill."

Maybe it's time to move out of La Honda.