Marketing to morons

Inspired by my previous post, I went and wasted about ten minutes of y life that I will never get back at the website of Little Penguin

From this point on I will refer to it as the 'Wee Pee' and the propoganda that is this site is unbelievable. It's so cute I nearly vomited. They've got all the bases covered. From storage tips:

1. Store the bottle on its side. This keeps the cork moist, preventing oxygen from getting into the bottle and ruining the wine. It also keeps it from getting knocked over when your burrow gets rocking.
3. Store the bottle in a cool, dark spot. Wines keep best in places that are below 70 degrees with no direct sunlight. Penguins have little or no choice in this matter.
4. Store the bottle in a still place. Vibration does not help wine so on top of the speakers or under the bed may not be the best choice.

Seriously. I find hard to believe this actually works but it must be. I love the inuendos throughout. Of course, anyone cool enough to be drinking Wee Pee is gonna be rocking all night, both in the living room and in the bed.

But what about food?

the Little Penguin Chardonnay with fresh seafood or by itself at a beach party.
the Little Penguin Shiraz with pizza.
the Little Penguin Merlot with a grilled chicken salad or homemade Italian foods.
the Little Penguin Cabernet Sauvignon with every carnivore’s favorite, meat on the barbie.

So there you go. All the major food groups are covered and there's absolutely no reason to buy any other wine in the world. One stop shopping for the monkeys.

The last thing I came across before I started to pull my eyes out of my skull was this:

the Little Penguin Wine Personality Test

Suffice it to say, I could not be taxed to submit my email address, required to get the results. I have a sneaking suspicion that regardless which of the four answers you select to the the ten questions, the results are the same:

You are an idiot. Thanks for your cash.

Honestly, is this the future of wine?!? God willing and the creeks don't rise, I trust not.