Even a blind squirrel....

finds an acorn once in a while...that squirrel being the AP.

With that in mind, I present the following:

Wine lovers toast arrival of new Beaujolais

NEW YORK (AP) — This year's Beaujolais is one of the best of the last 50 years, says Franck Duboeuf.

Which is about what you'd expect a wine seller to say. Duboeuf is director-general of the company that bears the name of his father, Georges. (emphasis T.t.S)

But he adds that the importance of Beaujolais season goes beyond the quality of any one year's crop. It's a last taste of summer.

He says ``When you open a bottle in the middle of November, it reminds you of all the summer fruits.''

The new Beaujolais is traditionally released around the world on the third Thursday in November. Duboeuf says his crop is smaller than usual, but more flavorful.

Leave it up to New Orleans website to call a spade a spade. I should say that I take exception to the title of the article as I suspect that most 'wine lovers' don't drink this stuff.

To the contrary, like most everything else in this country, the marketing machine is rolling in full effect and consequently a whole bunch of mediocre wine will be passed on to unsuspecting buyers under the guise of 'You've gotta have some of this'.

This, in turn, will re-enforce John Q. Sixpack's impression of wine (i.e 'It sucks') and further sully the beauty of real Beaujolais.

Damn.

Let me count the ways I love you.

Saturday afternoon, I was catching up on some reading when two men walked into the shop. Dude #2 has an empty bottle in his hand (J & H.A. Strub Niersteiner Paterberg Riesling Spätlese 2002). It seems that a client of mine is a friend of theirs and she had given them the bottle as a gift. Dude #2 starts going on about how great the wine was, how much he liked it, and how

"it was the only wine his wife has had and enjoyed"

Of course, this is always a good thing to hear especially when it concerns Riesling. By this point the two wives have made it into the store. Dude #2 is still running on at the mouth about how great the wine was and now Wife #2 gets in on the act.

Wife #2: "That was such an amazing wine... I've never had anything like it before."

Dude #2: "We definitely have to get another bottle. By the way, how much is it?"

Me: "Twenty-four dollars, sir"

Dude #2: "What?!?! 24 bucks?!? No way. I'm not paying that much for a bottle of wine"

Dude #1: "Do you have another bottle of it?"

Me: "Sure do, a few as a matter of fact"

Dude #1 (speaking to Dude #2): "Just get another bottle of it"

Dude #2: "No way..You see...I'm cheap...I'm cheap when it comes to wine"

Me: "Well, I have other Rieslings that are less expensive."

Dude #2: "But my wife really liked this one."

Me: Silence

So two bottles of Riesling end up leaving the shop, with Dude #1 paying for the both of them. It seems the two dudes are brothers and have been at this little game for some time.

I can only imagine how Wife #2 felt knowing that her happiness and enjoyment wasn't worth another $14.00.

Nice.

A Look at The Dark Side

Regular readers of this thing blog already know my attitude towards many elements of my chosen trade. I have little patience for the critics that most people subscribe to, front labels with 'cute' animals and seemingly totally unrelated descriptors, back labels that run on with the usual babble of vanilla and dark fruit, chicken, pasta,and anthing else one might think of ingesting.

I now know that these things are quite harmless. They pale in comparison to the real enemy. I have seen thy enemy and his name is Tony. Or, it was at one time. Now it's James, or Michael, or whoever else works in the god-forsaken place known as Tony's Wine Warehouse.

If you are in the business, do yourself a favor and read the article. Be prepared. You will want to take a shower afterwards.

Here are but a few of the un-****ing-believable things that they say to sell wine:

"I think every woman in America should start off with a glass of champagne at about 6:30 in the morning," he insists. "I'm thinking two would be perfect, but I'll be satisfied with one. I think you'll be a better woman for it, you'll live longer, and I think your day would go much better."

and

"Tony's is a professional wine merchant specializing in wines from small boutique wineries," it reads. "These chemical-free wines mean no headaches, allergies or harmful reactions."

and

Wine fermented and aged in French oak barrels tastes like mushrooms, Winkler says. Wine matured in American oak tastes like a campfire. The reason? In America, winery workers jump inside the barrels and scorch the sides to a thick char before they're filled with juice. In France, it all boils down to what the trees eat.

"The tree that produces this barrel grows up against every black and white truffle in the world," he explains. "When you cut this tree down, the tree has been feeding off these mushrooms for centuries. And when you cut the tree down, all of the oil that's in these truffles is inherently in this oak."

then it gets even better

Hence, these barrels are expensive. Typically, a single 50-gallon French oak barrel costs between $35,000 and $65,000, Winkler says. Burnt American oak barrels carry a $30,000 price tag. Oak barrels coopered in Australia--produced from a French oak forest replica (Australia is the first country in the world to successfully replicate a French oak forest, according to Winkler)--cost roughly $40,000. This is why wines fermented and aged in oak aren't cheap.

Think about questioning them, think again - cue The Godfather soundtrack:

"Me, I don't use court," he says flatly. "Besides court, I use the best investigation company in the country. And I'll find out everything about that person since the day he was born."

It doesn't stop there:

Then there's the dubious information. One of the most consistently circulated Tony's myths concerns "deep root wines," or the claim that vines with deep roots (up to 10,000 feet deep, according to Winkler) produce superior wines. (emphasis T.t.S.)

For the mathematically challenged, that's nearly 2 miles into the earth. Trust me - (not in the Used Car Lot sense of the term), this is a ridiculous statement.

Then a classic move, like something from Glengarry Glen Ross:

As he poured a sample of Poppy Hill Cabernet Sauvignon from California, a man slipped from behind the counter and left the store. The salesman paused and smiled. "Now that he's gone, I can do something about the prices," he said. He pulled out a sheet. "Now that he's gone, this is what I can show you. The normal prices are these." He pointed to a column on the left. "I can do it for those prices." He pointed to a column of much lower prices on the right. "But I couldn't...do it until he was gone, because he's the owner...So I can do you better prices on things. So I was doing it kind of half-heartedly with you."

And I wonder why first timers at my shop are somewhat reluctant to trust me on my suggestions? This is seriously one of the most disgusting things I've read in some time.

Believe me, I only scratched the surface with the article.

Those of you in the Dallas area, do yourself a favor and check it out

Expanding the Empire

In an effort to fulfill every aspect of the corporate stereotype, Anheuser-Busch in getting into the booze industry.

A-B gets into the spirit of things with Jekyll & Hyde

I know that ultimately the local news has to suck up to the big boys in town but the lead sentence leaves little to the imagination in this regard:

"Innovation has driven the brewing business of Anheuser-Busch Cos. for the last 153 years."

I'm not sure that I would qualify the milestones that are Bud Light and Spuds McKenzie, a couple of talking bullfrogs, or that gift to country clubs all over the country - Michelob - as real 'innovation' but I suppose a rose by any other name...

"Anheuser-Busch has created a subsidiary, Long Tail Libations Inc., that will focus on developing and marketing distilled spirits"

I know creating something remotely original is pretty tough these days (Hollywood seems to have given up all together), but could A-B be any more obvious as to which 'major' brand's coat-tails they are trying to ride. A-B probably figures that Long Tail, Yellowtail, pretty close, should make lots of money. I suspect that the tail is damn close to another part of the body and consequently, it all tastes like ass.

So what's all the hub-bub?

"Jekyll & Hyde is a set of two bottles of different spirits that are combined in a single shot glass.

At 60 proof, Jekyll is scarlet red with a taste of wild berries. Jet-black Hyde, at 80 proof, is a mix of spice and a strong herbal licorice taste. When combined, the drink becomes layered, with the Hyde liquid floating on top and Jekyll below."

Hmmm.

The two distinct tastes play off the Jekyll & Hyde theme of offering "the good and the bad, the naughty and the nice," Zavarella said.

This duality also fits the mood of young adult drinkers, McGauley said. "They're shifting from work to fun, and that's what Jekyll & Hyde is all about," he said.

The drink also lends itself to mixing with other spirits and flavorings, something that young adult drinkers often desire.

I'm not exactly sure who A-B qualifies as 'young adult drinkers', but I would hope that I may still fit that demographic. I know I'm 31 going on 87 but for real, could A-B be any more out of touch.:

"the good and the bad, the naughty and the nice,"

If some corporate clown went into any bar and started pitching his crap like this, he'd be laughed out the door. And that 'shifting from work to fun' line, what the hell does that mean? Furthermore, I didn't know that it was possible for a shitty liqueur to be 'all about' anything.

"See how the black floats to the top," said Marianne Radley, manager of innovations at Long Tail Libations. "You can add other flavorings, and they drop down between the two layers."

It's magic!!! The black floats on top!! How Cool!! Now, gimme 5 bucks for this shot. Two words A-B: specific gravity. And that 'wow' factor lasts about 30 seconds - not nearly long enough to sell a whole bottle of this stuff.

In the end, I think A-B might want to drop a dime to the boys over at Barton Brands. They went down this very-avoidable road some years back. And bars all over the country still have that original bottle of 99 Bananas.

Of course, that too sounded like a good idea at the time.

Happy Days

I'm not much for fanfare and the like but today, November 8, marks a not-so-minor miracle.

It was exactly three years ago today that (in my opinion) the greatest little wine shop in Georgia came into being.

Ingredients: One jaded bastard fed up with the service (i.e. restaurant) industry, $1200 cash (American) and a crazy notion that there is a better way to get people to drink better wine.

I suppose the jury is still out as to whether or not I have actually changed anything, but I'd like to think I'm on my way.

Happy birthday Le Chai.

Haven't decides what bottles to celebrate with... Stay tuned.

Slow News Day?

I suppose given the law of averages, it was bound to happen sooner than later. After all, even the news networks have trouble putting on anything that is halfway compelling 24 hours a day.

So it seems to be the case with the AP. Here's the article:

HEALDSBURG, Calif. Concerned that alcohol merchants are squeezing out other downtown businesses, officials in this wine country hub are mulling a proposal to cap the number of such sellers or impose a temporary ban on new stores.
There are 20 establishments that sell alcohol as their main product within 500 feet of this Sonoma County city's central plaza.In 1998, Healdsburg decided to require use permits for new stores in the immediate vicinity of the plaza. Since then, shops have sprung up on surrounding streets.The City Council may also choose to limit the number of outlets or set a minimum distance requirement between existing wine shops.Critics say the regulations, set to be considered tomorrow, are a bad idea since tourists flock here from around the world mainly for the wine.

In case you read right passed these two unbelievably stupid sentences, here they are again:

"In 1998, Healdsburg decided to require use permits for new stores in the immediate vicinity of the plaza. Since then, shops have sprung up on surrounding streets."

I know the AP is stretched a bit thin in these times of want and woe, but seriously, where the hell else would you expect to find these types of shops.

It's a bit like the folks that fight the good fight, ban alcohol sales on Sundays or even better, all-together, and then are surprised when somebody opens a liquor store just across county/state lines.

Nice.

WTF?!?!

In the interest of full disclosure, I should admit straight-away that it has been some time (years) since I subscribed to the monthly fishwrap that is Wine Spectator. Yes, once in a blue moon a client has lent me an issue or two but in all honesty that is quite rare. Why do I preface this post as such? Because it seems that I have become out of touch with the way in which WS 'critiques' wine nowadays.

The (not so) recent issue of Spectator came my way via one of my sales reps. He had called me to ask if I had seen in, then said he be at my shop in a minute. What's the big deal, I wondered. Then he showed me the 'Buying Guide'. The cover story for the issue was something like 'California Cabernet Shines in 2002'. Admittedly, this statement does little to get me excited but it does imply that this particular vintage is something to look out for, i.e. better than usual. And it may well be, at least for someone.

Let me give a little context on scores. Anyone who knows me or has read this blog for any period of time knows what I think about them - It is an exercise in masturbation. But that is not the point here. For the sake of this discussion (and all reality for that matter), they (scores) are a very real element of the wine industry. Every critic (in the U.S.) has his/her variation on this theme but the are more or less the same : 100 point scale with all sorts of bullshit delineations separating 'Great' from 'Totally Awesome' from 'Un-friggin-believable' from etc...

The fact of the matter is that this 'scale' really only runs from 85 - 100. I'm not going to argue for a change (although I think one is due) but for the sake of the buying public and the monkeys that sell to them, nothing less than an '85' will get on the shelf. And nothing less than a '90' will raise an eyebrow. If you think I'm wrong, go check out your local bottle shop (except for Le Chai - I don't use the damned things) and look around. If there is a shelf talker (that little tag that screams 'Buy Me!') it will have at least 85 points. Said points may not be from Spectator, or Parker, or even Tanzer, but they will be from someone. And if you look real close, the vintage cited is often different from the vintage on the shelf. Anyway, I digress.

Looking through this issue of Spectator, I was rather surprised how varied the 'scores' were for the Cabs that were reviewed. It is also rather surprising the rate at which the pricing for alot of these wines has esculated. There were the usual suspects, of course:

Araujo Eisele Vineyard 2002 $195___95 points

Bond Melbury 2002 $210___97 points
Bond St. Eden 2002 $210___96 points
Bond Vecina 2002 $210___95 points


Colgin Herb Lamb Vineyard 2002 $200___94 points
Colgin Tyschon Hill Vineyard 2002 $250___96 points

Harlan Estate 2002 $245___99 points

Paul Hobbs Beckstoffer To-Kalon 2002 $265___94 points

Joseph Phelps Insignia 2002 $150___96 points

and so on. Again none of the above are all that surprising but there were plenty that had me wondering:

Nickle & Nickle Vogt Vineyard 2002 $75___82 points
Nickle & Nickle John C. Sullenger Vineyard 2002 $75___83 points
Nickle & Nickle Stelling Vineyard 2002 $75___80 points
Nickle & Nickle Dragonfly Vineyard 2002 $75___79 points

Plumpjack McWilliams Reserve 2002 $160___86 points

Sausal 2002 $30___79 points

Seavy 2002 $74___82 points
Seavy Caravina $38___75 points

and so on. Trust me, I am merely scratching the surface of how many wines were reviewes in this issue. And these ratings bring up more than a few questions in my mind.

1. What the hell is going on at Wine Spectator? As I stated earlier, it's been some time since I've read it but it seems that they may actually be judging the wine for the wine's sake, not just rubber-stamping the wines out the door. While there has been some difference of opinion on one particular wine or another, the usual suspects generally seem to get (more or less) equal treatment from Parker, Laube, et al. Is this a 'throwing down the gauntlet' move on the part of WS? I should offer that I think it is about-damn-time that somebody actually start calling these wines for what they are. Unfortunately, I think WS has such a hot nut for Parker and his 'power' that they can't (read:won't) keep this sort of thing up.

2. Since when did these low ratings (sub-'85') actually get ink in the magazine. In reading the various media it seemed as if there was a 'un-written' rule concerning wine scores. That being, if your wine was that bad, they would do you a favor and simply not mention it at all. A different vintage all together but this same 'Buying Guide' listed the following:

Fetzer Sonoma County Barrel Select $20___55 points

Damn.

3. There is an old saying 'You made your bed, you sleep in it'. I can't help but get a chuckle out of this because the very thing that wineries hold dearest and (whether they admit it or not) need is the almighty blessing from some 'expert'. Well, it looks as if that rooster has come home to roost. But in the end, it won't really matter. The new issue of Ws is already out and so the old one is ancient history.

4. There are many out there that believe the market always buys the best, whatever it is they're buying. It would be fair to expect that such a negative review of so many wines from such a respected authority, would cause a great number of these wines not to sell, thus causing an oversupply. Unfortunately, those really running the market simply won't allow that to happen. In the big picture - much to Marvin Shankin's frustration, I'm sure - the points and opinions of Robert Parker carry far more weight with the average jackass despite the fact that WS has an exponentially greater readership. And lastly, as I mentioned before, the sales reps that make the 'shelf-talkers' will simply bypass Spectator for a review of the 2000 Fetzer and simply search the web until they can find some county fair somewhere that said it was a 87 point wine.

5. Finally, arguably the biggest question. So far as I was able to gleen, Spectator made no real attempt to explain why there are such wide differences in quality. Keep in mind, these are all Napa Valley Cabernets. Sure, some are from Howell Mountain, others from Oakville, but seriously, how many ways are there to skin that cat. I know they'd like you to think so, but were not talking about Pinot Noir in Burgundy here. The equation is pretty simple: Long hangtime, water back, 1000% new oak, custom über-heavy glass bottles, count the cash.

5b. While trying to wrap this thing up, I noticed something quite curious. One of the wines cited above was a Paul Hobbs Beckstoffer To-Kalon Cab. Regardless the price, the wine got 94 points. Put aside any opinions about the hang-time debate and I would think it safe to say that Andy Beckstoffer is easily in the top 5 growers in the whole damn country. So what gives with the following:

Merryvale Oakville Beckstoffer Vineyard X 2002 $75___85 points
Merryvale Rutherford Beckstoffer Clone Six 2002 $90___73 points

Reading this really makes me scratch my head. First off, I know we not talking about To-
Kalon, but still, Beckstoffer does not play around. Second, if a winery has the coin to be buying fruit from him, they've got the coin to pay somebody not to f*** it up. 73 points?!? According to their own chart, Wine Spectator say this

70-79 Average, a drinkable wine that may have minor flaws.

This gets back to the whole 100 point scale thing because if you saw a wine in a store for $90 and it had a shelf talker saying 73, the last thing you would think is 'average'.

Think about it.