He said, She said.

As has become a nearly daily ritual since the Supreme Court ruling last year, yet another state is considering a total re-vamping of all things alcohol. Enter the latest, so far as I know, Virginia.

First vote squeezes wineries

From the arlticle:

"The House ABC and Gaming subcommittee voted 4-1 to recommend that the General Laws Committee kill a bill that would preserve the right of small Virginia wineries to distribute their products to restaurants and stores."

I suppose "The House ABC and Gaming subcommittee" rolls off the tongue a little better than "Appomattox Vice". The former probably leaves a little more to the imagination as well.

"Half of the state's wineries produce less than 2,500 cases in a year. The wineries make about a fourth of their sales through self-distribution, said Terri Coffer Beirne, a winery lobbyist."

According to VirginiaWines.org there were 90 wineries in this fine state as of April, 2005. So half (45)of them make less than 2500 cases. 'About' one quarter of their production (625 per winery) is sold via 'direct sales'. I would have to believe that the vast majority of the remaining production is sold at the winery itself. So going with these few figures provided, the total direct sales from the 45 wineries mention is a whopping 28,125 cases. This is literally a 'drop in the bucket' vis-a-vis the number of cases sold via 'conventional' means (i.e. Distributors). The wineries know it. The Distros know it. I'd be willing to bet one or two of the fine folks on the Vice Squad know it.

And yet they won't let it go.

"Chuck Duvall, executive director of the Virginia Wine Wholesalers Association, said 3,400 workers of wine wholesalers could lose their jobs if the wineries bill passes."

What a douchebag!?! Does Monsieur Duvall realy expect anyone to believe that allowing these small family run wineries that, honestly most people are unware exist and couldn't care less about, that allowing them to ship direct is going to put all wine wholesalers and their employees in line at the soup kitchen?

I suppose in the face of something ridiculous, the only answer is to be more ridiculous. Hell, it works in D.C., why not Richmond?

Virginia's for lovers (at least those who love campaign donations).

Back at it.

A while back I wrote about Hiroshi Tanaka and his super-duper magic wine thingy. Apparently it's a bit of a slow news day so CNN has picked this p.o.s up one more time.

Speeding up time for wine

There really isn't anything in this article that hasn't been written about before. The gist of the contraption is that though electrolysis (that's right, the same method used in chroming the pipes on the sweet-ass chopper you just bought from O.C.C.), the most trite wine can be converted into a First Growth Bordeaux.

In the words of Lumbergh (i.e. Office Space): Right.

There were two pretty good quotes.

"I don't see how a machine could turn low quality wine into a magical and mature wine in seconds. I don't believe in it," said Emmanuel Delmas, Sommelier at the celebrated Fouquet's Restaurant on Paris's Champs Elysees.

And then the ringer:

"I know we'll face a lot of resistance from within the wine industry -- we already have," he said, recollecting a time in 2002 the firm took a prototype of the device to a wine producer in Italy. He declined to name the producer.

"We were told to leave the room, leave the country," he recalled. "And never come back."

Right on. Good luck, Tanaka. I think you're gonna need it.

You get what you pay for.

Looking over the days 'news' I came across the following little dity:

Wine Institute Encourages Developing "California message"

In reading the title alone, my noodle got spinning. I have opined in the past about the attempts of myriad wineries waxing eloquent about the singularity of their 'piece of paradise' on their websites and various other forms of propaganda and then ultimately resolving themselves (or simply embrassing) the umbrella of 'Napa' or 'Central Coast', etc, etc.... It seems to me to be bit of 'having your cake and eating it too'. Couple this with the effective meaningless-ness that is the AVA system in California (as well as Oregon and Washington State) and the message seems pretty damn clear:

Buy our wine...We don't care why, just buy it.

Ultimately, this may be the wish of any and probably all winemakers/wineries. And if so, then what's the point in 'getting out the message' on California?

"We have beautiful regions with distinct personalities, soils and microclimates that rival the world's best, talented and ingenious winemakers and outstanding California cuisine....

Beautiful regions? Sure, buy a post card.
Distinct personalities? I bet. Unfortunately most of those personalities must be viewed through oak/alcohol colored glasses.
Soils and microclimates that rival the world's best? I think you might be getting a little carried away.

You get the drift.

"Though California wines have experienced 12 years of consecutive growth, the U.S. wine market is increasingly competitive."

Let me count the ways. Everybody and their brother now has a winery in California. Hell, the organization that issued this press release counts amongst their members "887 California wineries and affiliated businesses whose members account for 85 percent of U.S. wine production and 95 percent of U.S. wine exports." I wonder where that competition is coming from? With ample help from all sorts of media, the beverage wine has and continues to be marginalized as something more akin to Jordache jeans then a real foodstuff and an item that should be part of your daily regiment.

"The wine media can also be powerful influencers of brand preference."

Genius.

"Offer your customers more experiences with you, such as sending video clips of winery principals..."

I know I'm in the severe minority, but I need a movie of some ass-clown running around his vineyards extolling the virutes of 'the loam' like I need a hole in my head.

And now the latest nominee for 'Master of the Obvious':

Nancy Light recommended that vintners identify one or two unique characteristics about their wineries to differentiate themselves from the competition. Winemakers might even consider focusing marketing attention on one varietal or a particular wine style that would be memorable and create a "halo effect" for the rest of their portfolio.

At the risk of sounding like a totally jaded bastard, shouldn't those one or two unique characteristics be found somewhere close to the bottle...like inside it?!? And as far as the 'halo effect', Ms. Light is way ahead of the curve on this one. I can't really think of more than two or three hundred wineries that have come up with some sort of silly name for their totally unique 'proprietary blend'.

Light also suggested adding suppliers and other trade customers to the newsletter mailing list and emphasized treating tasting room visitors like "royalty."

I guess the old 'Treat 'em like shit and they'll come back for more' approach didn't really pan out.

Thanks for the advice. It's a good thing I didn't pay for it.
Unfortunatley, someone else did.

A sobering 2 1/2 days.

Over the weekend I had a plethora of emotions running through me. Saturday saw a very busy day at the shop capped off with yet another amazing meal at one of my favorite restaurants, here or otherwise, Elizabeth on 37th. The Brothers Butch pulled out the guns and a great time was had by all. Wines included:

Champagne Delamotte NV Brut
Domaine Guffens-Heynen Mâcon-Pierreclos 2002
Lycée Viticole Hautes Côtes de Beaune Rouge 2001
Bandol Rouge 1998 (producer escapes me)
Late Harvest Chardonnay from Guillemot-Michel 1992
Banyuls 2001 (producer escapes me)

It was amazing. Got to bed around 1.30 in the a.m. 7.00 would be coming early.

Wake up straight away and hit that long black ribbon called lonesome. A good friend of mine had moved from to Savannah to New Orleans, then evacuated back here and decided he was staying for good. So we went down to gather up the remainder of his worldly possessions.

If you haven't been to this part of the country since 'The Storm', you simply have no idea the extent to which the entire region has been damaged. I know it's not fashionable to talk about these things nowadays with all the brew-ha-ha that is the Abrahamoff scandal and now ole Mr. Lott's prayed it over and decided that he's gonna run for a 4th term..."to do the right thing for the people of the region". My take is that he lost all his shit like everybody else in Mississippi, so why the hell not give it a go for another 6 years, bilk the populi for another couple of pay raises and live out the rest of his days on the largesse of us monkeys.

I digress.

Regardless of your belief or non-belief in some higher being/power, imagine the most grand definition of the word 'awesome' and then multiply that ten-fold. Then you might be getting close to the shear devistation that 'The Storm' brought to the Gulf coast.

I have a very special place in my heart for the city of New Orleans - the good, the bad, and the ugly. With that in mind, I can only hazard a guess that it will be at least 10 years before that city is anywhere close to what it once was.

It will take someone much smarter than I to figure out how to put it back together. I took multiple pictures while I was there, but much like the ones on the boob-tube, they don't come anywhere close to properly conveying the reality there.

Godspeed, NOLA.

Hmmm.

For all the lip-flipping I do about New World vs. Old World, I think I have reached the acme of all that is wrong with the former.

Shingleback 'Black Bubbles' Sparkling Shiraz

From their 'tasting notes':

Deep garnet colour with vibrant magenta bubbles. Aromas of concetrated black currant with hints of licorice, spice and dark cherries. Creamy bubbles and luscious sweetness envelop the plump blackberry mid-palate, which is enhanced with hints of savory development. The long sweet fruit finish is balanced with fine tannin and acidity.

I'm not sure what all of that means but it has nothing to do with the wine that I just tasted. First off, the wine is nearly opaque and the 'bubbles' were not visible. As for the rest of this blah, blah, blah - it was more like drinking from the syrup carousel at IHOP than any wine I have ever had.

Another little tidbit under 'vintage note':

This is a non-vintage wine blended froma number of years of Shiraz to create complexity and consistency in the style.

Translation: We bottled all the left over crap that we had, force-carbonated it and are trying to pass it off as something you should put in your body.

Don't believe it. This sucks. And they want +/- $20.00 American - WHOLESALE - for a bottle. Unreal.

This is a wine(?) for people who don't like sparkling or Shiraz. Honestly, I can't think of a single good reason that this wine is made. In fact, if anybody 'down under' is listening, save the bottle, and the label, and even the CO2 and just distill your oversupply into industrial alcohol. The world would be a better place for it.

I can only hope that their 'still' wines are marginally better. If not, 'Shitback' (as in - "Send this...") might be a little more à-propos.







Ha-Ha!!! I'm back.