One of the dumbest things I have read in some time.

Seriously, this one is up there.

The article starts out about all the great things that are going to happen at the Florida State Wine Competition. You're familiar with it, I'm sure. Well, it's a pretty lame article all in all, concerning all the types of wine catagories they have - 92 in total - including 'Hybrid Blush'.

WTF is 'Hybrid Blush'!!!

Anyway, the article wraps up with these insightful food/wine pairings:

What to drink with . . .

A corn dog: Chenin blanc. "It strikes a balance between being a fine white wine and having a little residual sugar to match the corn-meal coating."

A sausage and peppers sandwich: Cabernet franc. "It's something that has a lot of herbaceous and complex aromas to combat the aromas of the sausage and peppers."

Pizza: Barbera or Sangiovese. "They have a high acidity that will cut through the cheese and complement the tomato sauce."

Ice cream: Sherry. "You need something high in sugar."

To start, why the hell are you eating a corn dog?!? And even more, why would you try to pair a wine with it?

Sausage & Peppers? Sounds like a cheap ass American beer to me.

Pizza? For the record, Barbera or Sangiovese might go, yet when made correctly, they couldn't be more different.

Ice Cream? Why would you need more sugar?

You get what you pay for, I reckon.

On both fronts, theirs and mine, for that matter.

A sucker born every minute?

There's an old saying about fooling all the people part of the time and fooling part of the people all of the time, yet one cannont fool all of the people all of the time....or something like that.

Well apparently, it is possible to fool a shit-load of people for a considerable period...say like 25 years or so.

"Santa Margherita Pinot Grigio, the import that revolutionized the American wine market over the past quarter- century, has been recognized again by Impact magazine as a "Hot Brand" for 2005."

For those of you unaware of Impact Magazine...

"The Impact "Hot Brands" awards, presented in the March 2006 issue by publisher Marvin Shanken, gives wine trade professionals, retailers and restaurateurs a snapshot of market trends in the wine industry, with its list of the top selling, "hottest" brands each year."

Considering that, unfortunately, Marvin Shanken et al are on the leading edge of creating 'hot brands' day in and day out, (he is also the publisher of the ever-so-important Wine Spectator), it would appear that M. Shanken has found another way to wrap up the poo that is his opinion and peddle it off to restaurants at what I'm sure is a premium.

A cursory look around the interweb yields pricing for this 'hot brand' anywhere from $19 -$25 American. In case you've missed my obvious disdain for all things Santa Margherita, here it is in all its glory. This has got to be one of the biggest con jobs ever pulled over on the wine buying public. You want the straight dope on Pinot Grigio...at least the vast majority of it, including S.M.? The Italians make a shit-ton of the stuff. It is made to be consumed immediately, if not sooner. It does not age well, and it shouldn't because next year they are going to make a shit-ton more of it and you need to keep downing the stuff so the supply doesn't get backed up. And most importantly, unless it is from the Collio, there is no reason in hell it should cost $25!!! And even if it from Collio, which Santa Margherita is not, you would be hard pressed to spend that kind of money. That is unless someone is fleecing the hell out of you, which Paterno has been doing for sometime.

Oh yeah, I just found another reason not to give the Leviathan Shanken any of my money.

I suggest you follow suit.

No such thing as bad publicity?!?

At least that's what people say. I'm not sure if this really qualifies:

"HEALDSBURG, Calif. Authorities in wine country are looking for the gunman who allegedly shot a man during an argument early this morning.
Sonoma County sheriff's deputies found 44-year-old Agustin Santiago suffering from a gunshot wound to the stomach shortly after midnight in Healdsburg. Santiago told deputies that Enrique Lira shot him during an argument.Lira was found in a makeshift campsite in a vineyard, but he ran away, eluding deputies and patrol helicopters. Santiago was taken to a hospital for treatment.Authorities say anyone with information about Lira should contact the Sonoma Sheriff's office. (emphasis T.t.S.)

Can't imagine why the host vineyard/winery wasn't mentioned.

Seacrest - In.......Honky - Out.

Not that I needed another reason to avoid the 2006 Auction Napa Valley, but just in case, I now have it.

Riding the wave of popularity as the nation's best known celebrity host, Ryan Seacrest has been invited to serve as celebrity emcee for 2006 Auction Napa Valley, auction officials announced today.

My only hope for those attending is that this tool can emcee the event more efficiently than he does with American Idol. The F.A. is a bit of a freak for the show. Watching it makes me want to rip my eyes out of my skull. And once Seacrest starts working his 'magic' with the forced drama and break-aways to commercials, I start looking for the nearest bridge to jump off of.

Best of luck A.N.V., you'd better reign him in quick or the event is going last six weeks.

WTF?!?!

From the SF Chronicle:

Dozens of California wineries are now among the hundreds of businesses that have been hit with what many are calling "predatory" lawsuits relating to lead in stemware.

The lawsuits are based on the California's Safe Drinking Water and Toxic Enforcement Act of 1986, also known as Proposition 65. Businesses that fail to provide proper warning signs about chemicals in glassware, including lead and cadmium, can be liable for penalties of up to $2,500 per violation per day, which when calculated based on the number of individual sales can be significant.

Under the law, a party may file notice of an alleged violation and the state attorney general has 60 days to determine whether to take the case. If the attorney general does not take the case, the private party has a right to file a civil suit. Typically, the plaintiff's attorney offers the defendant the opportunity to "settle."

The situation is reminiscent of American Disability Act lawsuits that have targeted wineries over providing parking spaces for the disabled and wheelchair access to tasting rooms and restrooms.

Note to winery visitors:

You may be presented with a stylish, long-stemmed, over-sized chunk of glass with which to sample the 'fruits' of your host's labor. DO NOT SWALLOW IT! - the glass that is. I've got my opinions about the wine they put in it, but you're on your own there.

I love how to presence of lead in the tasting glass is cause for concern but process by which you would have to ingest it is given short shrift.

Oregon's Next Big Thing?

At least according to one person, it could very well be Riesling.

"Riesling is definitely underappreciated, or at least misunderstood, by the consumer," says chef Greg Higgins of Higgins restaurant in Portland, "which is too bad because we've got the perfect climate to grow it and all the right culinary ingredients to match well with it."

Old Man Higgins is pretty much right on here. I have opined in the past that the future of Oregon winemaking - hell, American winemaking, for that matter - lies in the correct matching of grape varieties to climate and geology. Of course, there are certain places that this has/is happening, but unfortunately, the vast majority of grapes are planted with solely fiscal purposes in mind. Obviously, the financial return on one's investment is a necessary concern, but more often than not, I feel growers/wineries are trying to anticipate or respond to some sort of trend, be it created by Hollywood or otherwise. Clearly, the trouble with this mentality is not only the fact that the average American has no attention span but also that it takes a number of years for the vine to start producing fruit of any consequence.

This article even makes mention of this having happened in Oregon's past:

"Although riesling played a seminal role in putting the Northwest on the world's wine map (it was riesling after all, not pinot noir, that was the first wine grape to be planted in Oregon), local rieslings have become an afterthought in today's market.

In 2005, for instance, riesling was less than 5 percent of the state's total wine production. For years, vineyard owners ripped riesling vines out of the ground in favor of other grapes."

I can only imagine the calibur of fruit that those (would-be-now-quite-old) vines could have produced. Unfortunately, it will be some time before we know.

My $0.02 on the whole deal:

Start trucking in an ass-load of granite, slate, and schist. This, in conjunction with cooler climates, is what makes real Riesling. In lieu of that, consider a system similar to that of Germany, where the must weight is considered in classifying the wines to be made. While is may be confusing to some percentage of the buying public, it really is the best way to qualify the wines.

Seriously, it makes sense.

And good luck.

Nice.

State's new tourism slogan has some experts saying, 'Huh?'

So what does $442K get you these days? A new slogan like 'SayWA', that's what.

"According to the state tourism office Web site, "SayWA is a distillation of the sense of wonder that comes with discovery. It describes the moment when an experience becomes emotional. Where the traveler is no longer an observer, but a participant. The SayWA moment."

Ever heard the one about polishing a turd?!? Not that Washington state is one, in fact I think it is a beautiful place. However, this 'slogan' does very little to move me. Of course, WA stop asking for my advice a long time ago, so there you have it.

God willing and the creeks don't rise, the fine folks that run my home state won't enlist these monkeys to revamp out image.

GA-GA for Georgia, I fear.